My Interview With Maggie

As most of you know, I have asked to be interviewed by the very cool dog, Maggie.

Maggie has a human named Kate who helps out with the typing and I would imagine some other light administrative work… just regular support staff stuff. It is so very important for active dogs like me and Maggie to have good support staff. I don’t know how I ever managed back before I got adopted.

Maggie’s questions are in green -- same color as grass -- and my answers are in the regular black color.

1. I see that one of your main things is making Lindy laugh. What have you found are the best ways to do that? (I see it is not your recent efforts on the counters, tough luck, that sounded fun!)

Yeah… I was into that counter surfing, I’ll tell you what. Too bad that didn’t work out.

Lindy laughs quite a lot for a human. But, my favorite is called giggling and I can make her do that by licking behind her ear in a special place. Lindy like for me to wake her up this way. Oh, she acts like she doesn’t like it. But, it’s an act because she always winds up giggling in the end.

2. So how do you like being named after that bishop anyway? Do you share any theological or other important thoughts with him?

As you probably know, Maggie, Rowan Cantur has turned out to be kind of a disappointment.

It’s hard to say how our theology compares because Cantur’s keeps changing. But, basically:

• I think Cantur is in favor of having some people be better than other people. I am not for that.
  

• Cantur likes the idea of making people all agree to some things called a covenant and making that a kind of litmus test to see if you can be in his special club. I am not for that either.

• When Cantur has a party at Lambeth Palace he only invites the bishops he likes. I would invite all the bishops. That’s just the kind of dog I am.

• When mean bishops from Africa try to start legislation in their countries that would make it illegal even to have lunch with a gay person in public, Cantur supports that. I do not

• Cantur remains silent in the face of injustice, famine, war and other bad human things. I do not and neither does my guardian.

• Cantur lets only a few of his favorite people define what it means to be an Anglican for the rest of the Anglicans. Dogs don’t do that. We don’t try to define dogginess because that would necessitate some dogs not being dogs anymore. That kind of thing is not known in the animal kingdom. Even cats and pigs do not engage in such bad behavior.

Cantur has more fur than me. Just so you know.

I do, however, like the ABC’s books. So does Lindy. Lindy likes his books because he is able to draw so widely, and yet write in a way that is totally accessible and fun for her. I like them because they keep Lindy busy and free me up for napping and bird watching.

We both wish that Rowan Cantur would leave Canterbury and go back to some academic institution and use his real gifts of teaching and writing.

I think he would be happier if he had a good dog. A dog could lick him and make him laugh. It could save the communion, I'll tell you what.

3. I read about how you were a hero with the bat. Other than the Big Lock Up, has this changed your life in any way? Like do you think you are a Finer and More Wonderful Dog Than Ever? (I confess that I think I might if I saved revdrkate from a bat!)

Well, Maggie, I’ll tell you what, sometimes I wonder. I mean, I don’t get to go to work, climb trees, swim, sniff of my dog friends, chase cats, or have friends over. I am starting to think that I am a very bad dog indeed. Otherwise, why would I get kicked out of doing all my favorite things with all my good and swell friends?

I was so distressed that I started chewing on my tail. It helps with the feelings of rejection and of not being wanted. This morning Lindy noticed some sores on my tail and we sat down and had a talk. She told me that chewing on your tail is a normal reaction for stress. Only if you are a dog, of course. Don’t let your human do it! And she told me that this exile won’t go on forever. But, how long? Oh, how long?

I did feel a little bit better after talking to Lindy. And she gave me some good pets all over including my belly. I like the belly pets.

I hope that someday I feel like a Finer and More Wonderful Dog again. I used to feel that way all the time. There was a human named Mother Teresa who, despite not even having a dog herself, said that not being wanted is one of the worst things that can happed to a human. It’s not so good for dogs either.

Thank God Lindy still loves me.

4. What is the first thing you are going to do when the quarantine is over?

Well, first, I want to go to my Aunt Jeanna and Uncle Ted’s and run as fast as I can, climb some trees, swim, and jump real high. And, as an added bonus for Aunt Jeanna, I am going to chase away all the pesky deer and squirrels. I love doing that and I know she really appreciates it too.

On the way home, I am going to woof to Lindy to take me to the Dairy Queen where they have a special kind of dog food called ice cream.

Then I guess I’ll take a nap. I just want things to go back to normal. I want to go to work, kiss my friends, and NOT wear the muzzle.

5. This was a good question that Tipper asked me, how do you like to start and end your day?

I start and end my day with prayer. Sometimes I stretch pray, sometimes I run and jump pray, sometimes I snuggle pray. It’s all prayer.

Thanks for these great questions Maggie. I had fun being interviewed by you.

Your friend,

Rowan

Now here are the rules of the interview:

• 1. If you are interested in being interviewed, leave a comment here on my mom's blog saying, 'interview me.'
• 2. I will respond by posting five questions for you. I get to pick the questions.
• 3. You will update your blog with a post with your answers to the questions.
• 4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
• 5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

If any of you dogs, cats, humans, or others want to be interviewed just contact my guardian. It would be my honor and pleasure to woof some questions over to you.