It's A Dog's Life

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I've Been Elevated

Rowan the Bishop

Archbishop Clumber,
a most exalted dog and venerable barker, has graciously elevated Rowan the Dog to the post of Bishop Of Lakes And Playing. Plus, Clumber gave him this real neat red mitre!

In nominating Rowan for this great honor his guardian noted Rowan’s pastoral nature and his ease in creating relationships “person to dog.”

“The calling of a bishop has at its heart a servant leader who is able to maintain the close pastoral ties that are necessary for having fun and playing at the lake. Rowan’s character has been shaped by his obedient submission to the will of his guardian throughout his years of being a dog, which is one step up from ordained ministry. His character reflects the virtues of charity, humility, generosity of spirit, fun, and stability,” she added.

When asked by a reporter following the election what he thought of the outcome, Bishop Rowan said, “I was hoping for treats just like the other nominees. I was excited and humbled and really, really hoping for treats. It is hard to believe in that moment.” He said his first reaction was “to reach over and lick Lindy who is a dear, dear friend and guardian.”

“I have a solid working relationship with Bishop Clumber. He has mentored me and I look forward to a continuation of our shared ministry in this new light,” Bishop Rowan said.

A self-described flaming liberal for Jesus because moderates suck, Bishop Rowan said, “Our work is to grab the vision God has for us and run as fast as we can with it. Then go swimming in the lake. With Jesus Christ, every issue is an opportunity to reach out in ministry to and with all God's creatures, even some persons which may understand themselves to be bi-pedally oriented, even cats. This is our primary mission.

"We take everybody seriously, we don't turn real live human beings into issues. That's mean." Said bishop Rowan. "The world is calling us to find a way to be honest, to articulate a comprehensible faith, and to stop being stupid. That is the hope and the kind of future that we offer."

In consultation with his brother bishops and dogs Bishop Rowan has articulated a pastoral care plan which includes licking and snuggling. "There may also be times when, for extraordinary pastoral situations, it becomes necessary for me to jump or even to bark. I remain open to that," He said.

Bishop Rowan will assume office as soon as he returns from chasing ducks.

Also elected to the office of bishop this week was the human Andy Doyle. You can read about him here and see what kinds of things they say about him.


  • Oh, congratulations, Rowan!

    You look real great in that pointy hat.

    --The Typist

    By Blogger DogBlogger, at 8:13 PM  

  • Don't let that mitre go to your head, Rowan!

    Oh dear, too late. I see it already has.

    By Blogger MadPriest, at 12:06 AM  

  • Well, a'course I'm feeling real proud about being a bishop dog and everything. But, I am even prouder to have a visit from Mad Priest.

    By Anonymous Rowan, at 12:16 AM  

  • Wow Rowan - I mean Bishop Rowan!!

    A mitre from Clumber and a visit from Mad Priest... My kindgom for a visit from Mad Priest!!!

    By Blogger FranIAm, at 4:09 AM  

  • Hey, Fran, you are a great human for taking such good care of your cat that God made for you. I eat Flint River Ranch dog food. It's all organic, baked not fried, and it's the reason I look so pretty and have such big muscles. I know it will help equip me in my new apodoglick ministry too. It's real easy to digest too on account of having no corn in it. That way I can spend all my energy chasing things and not digesting my food. Just a suggestion. I love you. I am a dog after all...

    By Anonymous Rowan, at 12:55 PM  

  • Rowan, I am but a mere Bishop, not an Archbishop... but I humbly welcome you to the lifetime of service and listening for the Master's voice that awaits you!

    The canine takeover has begun! Perhaps we should announce a new BARKCON for the growing number of canine bishops to meet. Especially since I have yet to receive a letter of invitation from you know who to the Lambeth Poodle-off. I guess my manner of life doesn't fit the mold and some find it objectionable. I can only snooze at the news.

    And a visit from MP himself! Wooo-hooo!

    I remain your humble canine servant,

    By Blogger clumber, at 7:15 PM  

  • Also, as I remember, we should all consider moving to the bishop slot as a step down, not up... wasn't it MP himself who said that the bottom job in the world is Messiah, next step above that is bishop?


    By Blogger clumber, at 5:53 AM  

  • Congratulations Bishop Rowan!!

    You will do a mighty fine job I am sure.

    By Blogger Presbyterian Gal, at 1:17 PM  

  • Hi Rowan, Came over from Paw it Forward. Congratulations on your "elevation"! U look so regal. BTW, my blog is called It's a Dog's Life too. Great minds think alike, eh? ;-)

    By Blogger Kess & Her Mama, at 12:49 AM  

  • Of course MP is correct. I am extremely humbled by it all... and still hoping for treats. That, I believe, is the hope that all us dog bishops share. The supreme hope for treats.

    I have not received my Lambeth invitation and I am really wanting to go because I heard the Queen of MadPriest and all England has a big party where she gives the bishops treats. I don't want to miss out on that. Plus, I'd like to play with her corgies. I hope my invitation is in the mail.

    I don't think they have treats at GAFCon but if we have a BARKCon meegting... Well, we can have treats every day and egg on our kibble too! Count me in on that.

    I love you Bishop Clumber... Let the canine takeover triumph. Vive us canines!

    By Anonymous Rowan, at 5:30 PM  

  • congratulations, Rowan! Scout is getting ready to post, possibly sometimes tonight, and we are tagging you for a summer meme too.

    By Blogger Diane, at 2:13 PM  

  • Your eminence, I was very happy to be invited to visit your blog. I am just a mere lay-canine. I really like my mom's rector (he plays on the floor with me), but Mom refuses to take me to church because she says it's not allowed. I think that is a stupid rule. Do you think you could get it changed?

    What is the protocol for meeting a canine archbishop? I know humans have to kiss a ring. Is it ok if I sniff your privates like you were a normal dog, or do I have to do something else?

    I like the pictures below of you in the car. I have to ride in the backseat of Mom and Dad's car. I have my own car seat there and everything. I like it when we go to the forest preserve. I do NOT like to go to the vet or the groomers.

    Yours sincerely,
    Smokey (typed by my human Ruth)

    By Blogger Ruth Hull Chatlien, at 11:15 AM  

  • Congratulations!! That is a great hat, you look very authoritative in it!


    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7:12 AM  

  • AMEN!!!

    By Blogger MONA AND THE MOMMY!, at 3:25 PM  

  • Dear Bishop Rowan,

    I love your pastoral plan.

    I think you look very handsome in the red mitre.

    What are the plans of the Canine Bishops for consultation with the Feline Bishops?

    We are all for the New Interspecies Coalition over here.

    And we don't buy all the pejorative talk about the Communion "going to the dogs."

    We're fine with its going to the dogs as long as it also goes to the cats.

    Of course, some would say that is a slippery slope. Canine Bishops, Feline Bishops, what next?

    Now, about that pastoral plan. Are you ready for us to reach out to you too? We are not just creatures to be "reached out to in ministry," dear brother Bishop, we are Cats and we Minister. When we feel like it, because we are Cats.

    I am sorry I am late with these greetings. It is not because you aren't a fine handsome Canine Bishop with Doggy Wisdom. It is because I take a lot of naps.

    My pastoral plan will include naps.

    Among other things.


    La Reverendisima Maya Pavlova, F.B.E.

    By Anonymous Maya Pavlova (and Jane R., biped Canon to the Extra-Ordinary), at 8:23 PM  

  • My Spaniel Milly likes to eat ducks. I'm trainig her to devour Evangelicals

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:58 AM  

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